Sunday, February 10, 2008

Drink. Curse. Hate. Part III

This sucks hard. I am so over it. Over. It. All. I hate this. I am over trying to decide if the defendant can be found guilty of larceny, burglary, embezzlement or false pretenses. I am over it because I really don't give a shit.

I had a nuclear meltdown the other night. I think Perfect Husband was a little afraid. I have no idea what possessed me to go to law school at the age of 30, back in 2002. I graduated in December 2005. It is now February 2008 and I am still not a lawyer. No one wants a paralegal with a law degree and you can't be a lawyer without a license. Rock. Hard spot. Welcome to my life.

People told me it would be an uphill battle to go to law school at night while working full time at a law firm. People told me that the fact that I was older, and had worked in the legal field for some time would work against me. I was stupid enough, or cocky enough, or arrogant enough, to believe that my intelligence and drive would be enough to overcome that. I distinctly remember saying to myself, I am smart, I will just work that much harder and overcome those obstacles. It is appalling how wrong I was. If I had known, back in 2002, that I would be here, now...I never would have done it. I would have gone to beauty school. I would have gone for a Masters. I would have tried to write a book. I would have done anything other than start a 6 year disaster that would result in financial ruin, shattered self esteem and a fat ass.

Plus, I seem to be averaging about 75% on the MBE's I have done so far. Jesus Christ. It sure would be nice if I could do that come February 27.

So, do you think people would read a novel, written my me, entitled Drink.Curse.Hate.?? I can see it now.....

"Drink.Curse.Hate - a tragically funny and touching story of a would-be lawyer and her quest to pass the bar, find the perfect reality TV show and fit into size 8 Gap jeans....the newest addition to the Oprah Book Club - a surefire bestseller ~ The New York Times"

On a brighter note......Lipstick Jungle totally rocks, and kicks Cashmere Mafia's ass.....

7 comments:

Emily said...

Every time I see the book Eat.Pray.Love (which is a lot since I've been frequenting a cafe in a bookstore) I think of your blog series and laugh out loud. Like a crazy person, b/c it is that time.

May I contribute to your novel as another paralegal gone to law school just shy of 30? I have had two career regrets in the past 6months, wishing I'd gone the engineering or even medicine path.

I totally agree. This sucks the big one & Lipstick Jungle compelled me.

Wish I could average that % on MBEs! That rocks!

Blawgin' said...

My book would be entitled Fail.Fail.Fail. Yep, three times. If that doesn't make you want to shove bon bons down your throat while zoning out in front of Cashmere Mafia and Lipstick Jungle, I don't know what does...

abbagirl said...

it's the season for nuclear meltdowns. count me in. i have never hated the world and everyone i know so much until i began dealing with the bar exam. i'm just daring the next person i come across to really set me off -- i am itchy to let loose for a major b!tchy session at this point.

grrr!! :p ;)

so yeah, i totally empathize with the drink.curse.hate. theme and would definitely be the first one in line to buy that book. LOL hang in there! you're gonna kick butt!!

thecalbaristhebaneofmyexistence said...

you commented on my one lone entry back in january and you don't know how uplifting your kind words were. i wanted to return the favor and say, one day at a time. we are SO close to the finish, you can do this~

Blonde Blogger said...

I will accept entries/chapters for my book from all of my blog/bar/insanity friends!!!

Blawgin' said...

I do like Lisptick Jungle! I'ma little more "attached" to the Cashmere Mafia characters simply because I've seen more episodes but the LJ girls are definitely more real...I read the book way back when and the story lines are mixing in my head!

I'm excited for Step Up 2 too!!! OMG, we're identical. Don't you just look at that poster and think her body just rocks?! All those abs and glistening skin....I know I sound like a lesbian, but geez...that body stops traffic! Okay. Off to the gym I go. =)

Anonymous said...

I think I've become homicidal. I had to go to the store yesterday to stock up on food, and I've never wanted to break out an AK-47 so badly in my life. I've informed my husband that I will NOT be leaving the house for the next 2 weeks because I will just end up in prison.

Your book sounds like a great idea! I haven't seen Lipstick Jungle and Cashmere Mafia and won't let myself, I'm trying not to watch TV these last couple of weeks except for "Rock of Love 2 with Bret Michaels" and "My Fair Brady: Maybe Baby?" and of course my beloved "JAG" reruns.